The Church Search
I was speaking with a new friend via email last week when she asked whether or not I thought it was beneficial to attend a church that did not accept homosexuality as a valid orientation. She's a single lesbian who wants to plug in to a group of Christians and find a church home, but she is geographically limited. I have been in a similar place. Nebraska wasn't exactly a hotbed for homosexual inclusion when I lived there, and even Austin had its drawbacks. I'm sure everyone has a different opinion on how to handle this based upon individual experience, so there is really no short answer.
When I came out ten years ago, churches were not as accepting as many have grown to be today. The Methodists have adopted an open door policy, the Episcopal Church has consecrated an openly gay bishop, and other smaller churches are beginning to welcome GLBT worshippers upon their own initiative. The climate is gradually changing. But it would change with much more voracity if Catholics, Southern Baptists, and the like would listen to the gay Christians who are trying to explain to them that homosexuality and Christianity are not mutually exclusive, and simply give us the opportunity to peacefully co-exsist under the same Christian umbrella. Perhaps as we continue to come out of the gay Christian closet and learn to display our faith on a more basic, routine level, these defenders of the faith will begin to realize that it is indeed God who works in us, and not the dreaded ungodliness that they work so hard to contain and extinguish.
Angela and I are blessed now to have found a church in the Cathedral of Hope in Dallas that we can identify with and which understands us on the most basic level. Many churches that we visited before we found CoH seemed to be speaking to everyone but us, as if we simply had a temporary guest pass that would allow us to witness a private worship service for the day. Of course these services weren't private, but the exclusionary air we breathed during the services certainly made it seem as if homosexuals would be automatic intruders; so we didn't come out.
We developed a sneak in-sneak out mentality so we wouldn't make waves, and although we were able to gain spiritual insight from the scripture readings and sermons, we were so hesitant in our interactions with other worshippers that we gained nothing from the fellowship. This was our own fault, but it was difficult to reach out and make a concerted effort to get to know others when the line of questioning always seemed to include, "Would you ladies be interested in attending our Friday night singles mixer?" If that question were to come at me today I would no doubt come out, and explain that since Angela is my spouse there is really no need for either of us to be lumped in with the singles. But neither of us was that secure back then, so we made ourselves somewhat emotionally unavailable to the other worshippers and just harvested what we could from the sermons. In other words, our church experience was all take and no give. To be successful and gratifying, a church experience should have both.
Christianity on the whole is divided over the issue of homosexuality, so individual churches are varied in their inclusion. Few churches actually embrace homosexuality. Ellen's coming out episode comes to mind when she said, "No one ever bakes you a cake and says "Good for you! You're gay!" Now that would be a church social. Although they don't always embrace to this degree, many churches do invite homosexuals to worship, become members, and become involved, without ever issuing judgment or condemnation. There are other churches which welcome homosexual worshippers while continuing to reject homosexuality itself (the "love the sinner hate the sin philosophy), thinking that if these homosexuals are fed enough of the proper spiritual food they will be rehabilitated and cleansed. But it's fruitless to put ourselves in a position where we're constantly offered something we don't need. That's distracting and annoying. If we don't come out at all and the church remains unaware that it has homosexual worshippers in its midst, it will certainly receive us without hestitation and with vested enthusiasm. But this is fruitless as well because it does little to serve God, gay worshippers, or the church.
Cathedral of Hope does embrace homosexuality. The first time we walked in the building and saw over five hundred GLBT Christians worshipping together we were speechless; awestruck by the Spirit of the place. We consistently find love, joy, peace, and understanding there--all fruits of the Spirit, and the reasons we keep going back. If you find these things in any church, hang on to it. Genuine understanding, of course, is the hardest to find.
Once we all find a place where we can let our guard down and worship God comfortably, it's tempting to splinter off with this group and stop looking outside of the borders we create. But if we keep to our own predominantly homosexual churches, we will become increasingly satisfied with our own Christian cliques, and we will be denying ourselves the opportunity for the growth that comes with reaching beyond that which we've grown accustomed to. I know it is a Cathedral of Hope philosophy to welcome all persons without regard to race, gender, age, sexual orientation, or anything else divisively human, which successfully counters the temptation to build our own little gay Christian fort and shut the rest of the world out. It is still predominantly gay at present, but there is nothing to stop it from growing into a melting pot in the future. I hope more churches follow suit and openly welcome all people, so the lines that typically divide churches can become officially blurred, and the only reason to attend one church over another will be related to its geographical proximity or its worship style. We will become able to select our churches by preference and not necessity.
Ultimately, we should all go where God leads us. Angela and I have been led to a predominantly gay church. This is geographically possible for us. Others are drawn to churches that are predominantly heterosexual, either for geographical reasons or simply because they prefer them. Whatever the case, I think it's wise to be completely open and honest about our homosexual orientation and to present ourselves as gay Christians from the very beginning. I wasn't mature enough to take my own advice six or eight years ago, but now I see the dire importance in it.
We can't become true vessels through which God can feverishly work until we completely open ourselves up and become willing to display that portion of God which few believe exists. Few believe and even fewer understand that all love has its origin in God; ours included. This will not become more widely recognized until we let God tell the truth through us and through our relationships. Whether we display this power in a church where the people around us are similar or whether they are different is really irrelevant. We are one in God and if we continue to seek the creator of the connection, the give and take that is vitally important in anyone's relationship with the church can begin to fill us up and spill out toward those around us.
Romans 12: 4-5 (NIV) says:
Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.
We belong. And the extent to which we own that is the extent to which we make a difference.
When I came out ten years ago, churches were not as accepting as many have grown to be today. The Methodists have adopted an open door policy, the Episcopal Church has consecrated an openly gay bishop, and other smaller churches are beginning to welcome GLBT worshippers upon their own initiative. The climate is gradually changing. But it would change with much more voracity if Catholics, Southern Baptists, and the like would listen to the gay Christians who are trying to explain to them that homosexuality and Christianity are not mutually exclusive, and simply give us the opportunity to peacefully co-exsist under the same Christian umbrella. Perhaps as we continue to come out of the gay Christian closet and learn to display our faith on a more basic, routine level, these defenders of the faith will begin to realize that it is indeed God who works in us, and not the dreaded ungodliness that they work so hard to contain and extinguish.
Angela and I are blessed now to have found a church in the Cathedral of Hope in Dallas that we can identify with and which understands us on the most basic level. Many churches that we visited before we found CoH seemed to be speaking to everyone but us, as if we simply had a temporary guest pass that would allow us to witness a private worship service for the day. Of course these services weren't private, but the exclusionary air we breathed during the services certainly made it seem as if homosexuals would be automatic intruders; so we didn't come out.
We developed a sneak in-sneak out mentality so we wouldn't make waves, and although we were able to gain spiritual insight from the scripture readings and sermons, we were so hesitant in our interactions with other worshippers that we gained nothing from the fellowship. This was our own fault, but it was difficult to reach out and make a concerted effort to get to know others when the line of questioning always seemed to include, "Would you ladies be interested in attending our Friday night singles mixer?" If that question were to come at me today I would no doubt come out, and explain that since Angela is my spouse there is really no need for either of us to be lumped in with the singles. But neither of us was that secure back then, so we made ourselves somewhat emotionally unavailable to the other worshippers and just harvested what we could from the sermons. In other words, our church experience was all take and no give. To be successful and gratifying, a church experience should have both.
Christianity on the whole is divided over the issue of homosexuality, so individual churches are varied in their inclusion. Few churches actually embrace homosexuality. Ellen's coming out episode comes to mind when she said, "No one ever bakes you a cake and says "Good for you! You're gay!" Now that would be a church social. Although they don't always embrace to this degree, many churches do invite homosexuals to worship, become members, and become involved, without ever issuing judgment or condemnation. There are other churches which welcome homosexual worshippers while continuing to reject homosexuality itself (the "love the sinner hate the sin philosophy), thinking that if these homosexuals are fed enough of the proper spiritual food they will be rehabilitated and cleansed. But it's fruitless to put ourselves in a position where we're constantly offered something we don't need. That's distracting and annoying. If we don't come out at all and the church remains unaware that it has homosexual worshippers in its midst, it will certainly receive us without hestitation and with vested enthusiasm. But this is fruitless as well because it does little to serve God, gay worshippers, or the church.
Cathedral of Hope does embrace homosexuality. The first time we walked in the building and saw over five hundred GLBT Christians worshipping together we were speechless; awestruck by the Spirit of the place. We consistently find love, joy, peace, and understanding there--all fruits of the Spirit, and the reasons we keep going back. If you find these things in any church, hang on to it. Genuine understanding, of course, is the hardest to find.
Once we all find a place where we can let our guard down and worship God comfortably, it's tempting to splinter off with this group and stop looking outside of the borders we create. But if we keep to our own predominantly homosexual churches, we will become increasingly satisfied with our own Christian cliques, and we will be denying ourselves the opportunity for the growth that comes with reaching beyond that which we've grown accustomed to. I know it is a Cathedral of Hope philosophy to welcome all persons without regard to race, gender, age, sexual orientation, or anything else divisively human, which successfully counters the temptation to build our own little gay Christian fort and shut the rest of the world out. It is still predominantly gay at present, but there is nothing to stop it from growing into a melting pot in the future. I hope more churches follow suit and openly welcome all people, so the lines that typically divide churches can become officially blurred, and the only reason to attend one church over another will be related to its geographical proximity or its worship style. We will become able to select our churches by preference and not necessity.
Ultimately, we should all go where God leads us. Angela and I have been led to a predominantly gay church. This is geographically possible for us. Others are drawn to churches that are predominantly heterosexual, either for geographical reasons or simply because they prefer them. Whatever the case, I think it's wise to be completely open and honest about our homosexual orientation and to present ourselves as gay Christians from the very beginning. I wasn't mature enough to take my own advice six or eight years ago, but now I see the dire importance in it.
We can't become true vessels through which God can feverishly work until we completely open ourselves up and become willing to display that portion of God which few believe exists. Few believe and even fewer understand that all love has its origin in God; ours included. This will not become more widely recognized until we let God tell the truth through us and through our relationships. Whether we display this power in a church where the people around us are similar or whether they are different is really irrelevant. We are one in God and if we continue to seek the creator of the connection, the give and take that is vitally important in anyone's relationship with the church can begin to fill us up and spill out toward those around us.
Romans 12: 4-5 (NIV) says:
Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.
We belong. And the extent to which we own that is the extent to which we make a difference.
posted by Jen Austin at 5:14 PM
1 Comments:
I once was told by an ex that I was not a true christian because I am catholic and attend mass every sunday and as we all know catholic religion does not accept homosexuality, there fore I was not truly gay, and went as far as calling me a hypocrit. Needless to say we are no longer together. But like you said one has to go where they are comfortable and at my church I am comfortable, I may not be out but I am there to pray not to find someone to be my partner. I truly enjoyed your post and if I lived in Dallas then I would visit COH because it sounds like a good place to be. Keep up the good work.
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