Follow-up to Zach's story
An acquaintance of mine, Aaron, posted Zach's story in his blog last week and asked for my opinion. Like most people, I was sympathetic to Zach's plight. It's unfortunate that parents can react negatively to a child's coming out, and it's not a stretch to say it's stories like these that often keep people in the closet. No one wants to risk being shipped off to an ex-gay camp. But there was something unsettling about Aaron's reaction to the story.
On the face of it, Aaron's attitude is pretty harmless. He says he absolutley despises the fact that Zach's parents made the decision to send Zach to an ex-gay camp, and he maintains that he personally is fully supportive of gay people via the "live and let live" philosophy. He thinks if a person chooses the homosexual lifestyle then he or she should be left to live accordingly without fearing judgment or condemnation. But doesn't condemnation exist in that very idea?
Aaron thinks like many people do. I don't condone the behavior, but I'm not going to meddle. But saying you don't condone homosexuality is a bit like saying you don't condone blonde hair. It's pointless. A few people are going to have blonde hair, and although you can disapprove of it, it will continue to grow from the inside out, beyond anyone but God's control. To say that you don't condone the behavior, lifestyle, or anything else that mistakenly implies that homosexuality is something we adopt and not something we awaken to, just proves how little you understand.
There are many people who believe as Aaron believes--that it's a choice to be gay. To some extent this is true. It's not a choice to feel the chemical reaction that attracts us to members of the same sex, but it is a choice to accept ourselves unconditionally and to live in congruence with that truth. Is the latter the "choice" that Aaron and others support? Or do they assume that the choice is in the exchange of some "natural" heterosexual chemical reactions for some wild and crazy homosexual ones? I'm not certain how that could even happen.
I suppose I could make the choice to live as a heterosexual, but that would do nothing to change the fact that I am one hundred percent homosexual, and it would make my life a miserable lie. By the same token, Aaron could choose homosexuality, and that would do nothing to change the fact that he is heterosexual. Something tells me he wouldn't go that far. Perhaps neither of us has much choice in the matter.
At least Aaron agrees that once homosexuals have reached the point of self-acceptance, we should be allowed to go on living truthfully and free of condemnation. That's a start. But it's also proof that we have much further to go.
On the face of it, Aaron's attitude is pretty harmless. He says he absolutley despises the fact that Zach's parents made the decision to send Zach to an ex-gay camp, and he maintains that he personally is fully supportive of gay people via the "live and let live" philosophy. He thinks if a person chooses the homosexual lifestyle then he or she should be left to live accordingly without fearing judgment or condemnation. But doesn't condemnation exist in that very idea?
Aaron thinks like many people do. I don't condone the behavior, but I'm not going to meddle. But saying you don't condone homosexuality is a bit like saying you don't condone blonde hair. It's pointless. A few people are going to have blonde hair, and although you can disapprove of it, it will continue to grow from the inside out, beyond anyone but God's control. To say that you don't condone the behavior, lifestyle, or anything else that mistakenly implies that homosexuality is something we adopt and not something we awaken to, just proves how little you understand.
There are many people who believe as Aaron believes--that it's a choice to be gay. To some extent this is true. It's not a choice to feel the chemical reaction that attracts us to members of the same sex, but it is a choice to accept ourselves unconditionally and to live in congruence with that truth. Is the latter the "choice" that Aaron and others support? Or do they assume that the choice is in the exchange of some "natural" heterosexual chemical reactions for some wild and crazy homosexual ones? I'm not certain how that could even happen.
I suppose I could make the choice to live as a heterosexual, but that would do nothing to change the fact that I am one hundred percent homosexual, and it would make my life a miserable lie. By the same token, Aaron could choose homosexuality, and that would do nothing to change the fact that he is heterosexual. Something tells me he wouldn't go that far. Perhaps neither of us has much choice in the matter.
At least Aaron agrees that once homosexuals have reached the point of self-acceptance, we should be allowed to go on living truthfully and free of condemnation. That's a start. But it's also proof that we have much further to go.
posted by Jen Austin at 3:07 PM
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