Equal reliance. Easier said than done.
From November through early May I went through some tough times at work, and I found myself relying wholeheartedly on God for every paycheck, opportunity, and other upward movement. I prayed every time God popped into my mind and every time I felt myself wandering off into worry land. I still stressed out, but at the same time the underlying calm was the thing that carried me through. God answered a thousand little prayers along the way, and then answered the big prayer for a cool new job. After I got the job I spent the first two days exhaling and thanking God as each breath left me, but since then I don't feel like I've been as outwardly grateful. I still pray more than once a day, but not with the urgency or spiritual nakedness that I prayed with during the stressful time.
Everyone always says that you don't really get close to God until things go wrong, and there's a lot of truth in that. When things get scary it's natural to retreat into someone big, strong, and protective. And when things are going well there's a tendency to think we're just fine on our own and that we're completely capable of balancing on the high wire all by ourselves. As soon as there's a little stumble I'll run right back to the big, strong, and protective One.
Perhaps this is the time I'll learn to be just as reliant on God during the good times as I am during the bad. And the bad times aren't even all that bad. Evidence of God. So it follows that if my reliance on God is equal during the good times and the bad, the good times should be off-the-charts awesome, right? If God can sustain me and keep me from crashing during the bad times, then the good times should be that much better. Perhaps if I could truly accomplish equal reliance during good and bad times I would discover that God is indeed able to do "exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" as it says in Ephesians 3:20; one of my favorite verses. One of these days I'll get it and I'll be able to carry the lesson with me a little bit better.
For now, thanks God, for sustaining me and for putting up with the constant analysis. Thanks for being so much more consistent than I am. You're the best!
That's a start.
Everyone always says that you don't really get close to God until things go wrong, and there's a lot of truth in that. When things get scary it's natural to retreat into someone big, strong, and protective. And when things are going well there's a tendency to think we're just fine on our own and that we're completely capable of balancing on the high wire all by ourselves. As soon as there's a little stumble I'll run right back to the big, strong, and protective One.
Perhaps this is the time I'll learn to be just as reliant on God during the good times as I am during the bad. And the bad times aren't even all that bad. Evidence of God. So it follows that if my reliance on God is equal during the good times and the bad, the good times should be off-the-charts awesome, right? If God can sustain me and keep me from crashing during the bad times, then the good times should be that much better. Perhaps if I could truly accomplish equal reliance during good and bad times I would discover that God is indeed able to do "exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" as it says in Ephesians 3:20; one of my favorite verses. One of these days I'll get it and I'll be able to carry the lesson with me a little bit better.
For now, thanks God, for sustaining me and for putting up with the constant analysis. Thanks for being so much more consistent than I am. You're the best!
That's a start.
posted by Jen Austin at 9:16 AM
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