Gay Christian is the new gay

I came out to myself over ten years ago, and at that point coming out to others was a scary process for me. I really felt like people would think differently about me once they knew that I was a lesbian, and I wanted to avoid that at all costs. There was a lot of fear (and perhaps a mild bit of self-loathing) involved. Back then it was easier (and therefore better, I thought), to just sneak through life without giving away that bit of information about myself.

Maybe it's just because I've had a decade now to experience other people's reactions, but I really think most people now are numb to whether or not a person is gay. It doesn't seem to be a big deal. Generally speaking, I don't feel judged by the vast majority of the people that I come into contact with on a weekly basis. Perhaps I've always had this level of acceptance, and it is my own internalized homophobia that has dissipated. At any rate, my being a lesbian seems to be a non-issue with co-workers, business contacts, insurance companies, doctor's offices, etc. The people in these places seem to take it at face value when I write down Angela's name in the box labeled "spouse," and they go on about their business.

Christians aren't always this dis-interested. It's as if Christians don't always believe me when I say I'm a lesbian. It's more like, "No, you're not gay. You were born straight, you are straight, and you have allowed sin to infiltrate your life and take over." Oh contrare!

There is no trust on the part of these Christians. There is no trust regarding my own personal relationship with God, or that God and I have been over this a thousand times and that I am on the exact path that God wants me to be on in this life. There is no trust in my Christian experience, and in that way God is the one who is discredited. What if God has always been trying to explain to the masses that there is nothing sinful about being gay? And what if God is about to let the winds of change blow a little bit stronger? The gay Christian revolution is coming.

It used to be controversial to be gay. That's why Ellen's coming out was such a huge deal several years ago. But now--due in part to pop culture trailblazers like Ellen and Rosie--it's not a big deal to come out. In fact, I don't think a big coming out moment is even necessary. It's just something a person begins to talk about as part of his or her life, and that is that. Now it's coming out as a gay Christian that causes the controversy. That's the part that people seem to be the most reluctant to accept.

Or, perhaps I've just reached a new level in my own internalized homophobia. Grrreeeaaaaat. Since I know that there are Christians out there who will likely condemn me on spec, perhaps I have allowed a good bit of fear to develop and affect how I view them and how I view myself. Coming out is indeed a lifelong process.

Regardless, just as the frenzy around being gay has died down, the phobia and judgment swirling around gay Christians will eventually evaporate as well. After all, if God is love, doesn't it become logically impossible to discredit once certain type of love? God is. Love is. There truly is nothing to fear.